Im 16 and cant stop thinking about suicide.?

im 16 and i cant deal with this anymore. last year i got drunk and did something that i truly regret. its been in my mind everyday since and i cant seem to not think about it. this past month my family started to find out. i promised myself that if anyone ever found out i would kill myself. i cant live with the shame and people blaming it on me. everyday i hear something about it and it kills me inside. i try to keep all of my thoughts and feelings in but sometimes il break down and cry or just get angry and flip out. me and my mom fight everyday. i hate being around her. i know thats so bad to say but she used to be my best friend. she irks me so much and im sick of it. i cant get the image of me over dosing or hanging myself. i used to cut in 8th grade i always thought that would solve my problems. idk why im telling you guys this but i just need someone to vent too and get this off my chest. i feel like im at the end of the rope. i feel like theres no point of even trying to please people anymore. idc if i die. i would be out of everyones way and wouldnt cause problems or drama. i just want to be over with all of this. idk what to do anymore? i cant stop thinking of suicide i have to do it. please help me =/